Identity theft is a serious crime that often results in substantial financial losses for victims, but when the perpetrator is a family member, the deep emotional and psychological distress can exacerbate the devastation.
Say, for example, your father secretly opened a credit card in your name and racked up more than $5,000 in charges over the past year. After confronting your dad about it, he dismissed it all as no big deal. But in addition to losing trust in your father, his actions have also left you with a significant debt that you now have to pay, as well as damage to your credit report.
Needing help, he decides to turn to his beloved uncle to help him pay the charges. And even though you’re the one who should be upset, your father ends up yelling at you when he finds out you went to his brother for help.
You may love your father, but there is no denying that he has made you a victim of identity theft without understanding the seriousness of his actions. In this situation, you are not wrong; He does, and how you decide to respond to the crime he has committed is entirely up to you.
While being a victim of family fraud is concerning, the unfortunate truth is that you are not alone.
According to a 2021 study from Javelin Strategy and Research, one in 50 American children is a victim of identity theft each year (1), while more than 70% of those victims are targeted by a person they know (2).
If a parent is seeking access to funds they otherwise wouldn’t be able to, their children are often good targets for family fraud, since most parents have access to their children’s personal information, such as their Social Security number and date of birth.
This puts victimized children in a difficult position, often forcing them to choose between protecting their credit and finances, or protecting the parent who stole their identity to commit a crime.
A study from the Office for Victims of Crime reveals that family identity theft, or intergenerational identity theft, can be particularly harmful to victims because they end up being victimized twice: once, by a family member who steals their identity, and then again by the system, which will not help unless the victim files a police report. And reporting a family member to the police is not an easy decision to make.
Victims of identity theft are generally not responsible for paying fraudulent charges and can often have negative information stemming from the crime removed from their credit report. However, the victim would have to report the identity theft and fraud to the police for this to happen, and that could create a lot of problems if a family member is the culprit.
In your situation, let’s say you decided not to report your father to the police after getting your uncle to help you pay the fraudulent charges. In this case, the big consequence you now have to deal with is the damage to your credit score.
Since you didn’t know that your father was racking up debt in your name for an entire year, your credit report likely took a hit. Unfortunately, late payments on credit cards will remain on your credit report for up to seven years (4).
You can always call the creditor to explain what happened and see if they will remove the negative information from your report, but without a police report in hand, there is no guarantee that will happen.
In light of all this, you would be within your rights to explain to your father that not only did he steal your identity and break the law, but he also made it more difficult for you to borrow money in the future. And while you’re at it, you might remind him that he now owes you and your uncle $5,000, plus any interest the charges may have accrued.
Read more: Are you richer than you think? 5 clear signs that you are head and shoulders above the average American
Since you have already become a victim of identity theft, you probably want to take steps to ensure something like this never happens again.
First, start by collecting any personal documents your father used to take out a credit card in your name, such as his birth certificate and Social Security card. These documents must be in your possession now that your father has proven that he cannot be trusted.
You should also check your credit report to make sure your father, and potentially others, have not made any more unauthorized loans in your name. It’s a good idea to check your credit report regularly, even if you haven’t just become a victim of identity theft and fraud. That way, you’ll be able to spot signs of potential identity theft right away and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation.
Freezing your credit is also a good option to ensure that no further fraudulent activity occurs. To do this, check with each of the major credit reporting agencies (Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion) to request a security freeze on your credit. This essentially blocks access to your credit, preventing you or anyone else from opening new credit accounts in your name.
However, you must request a freeze with all three agencies to fully protect your credit from fraud. You can also unfreeze your account at any time, for free.
Taking these steps can help keep your identity safe in the future, but in your situation, it’s also worth talking to your dad about what he’s done. If you are simply unwilling to acknowledge the seriousness of his actions, consider letting him know that any repeated behavior will result in a call to the police.
We rely only on verified sources and credible third-party reports. For more details, see our Ethics and editorial guidelines..
Javelin Strategy and Research (1, 2); The Office for Victims of Crime (3); Equifax (4)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.