It’s no secret that money is one of the main causes of conflict between married couples.
About a third of divorcees said that financial problems were the main source of conflict during their marriage and the main reason they eventually separated, according to a Forbes Advisor survey.
As a financial educator and former NFCC Certified Credit Counselor, I have spoken with hundreds of couples about their financial challenges. In my experience, it is rare for one party to be solely responsible for all the financial problems in a marriage. Rather, it is often a lack of communication about financial responsibilities and expectations that leads a couple down the wrong path.
From hidden debt to mismatched spending habits, small money mistakes can quietly turn into major relationship problems. The good news? Many of the most common financial mistakes that lead to divorce can be prevented. Here are four of the biggest money mistakes couples make and how to keep finances from coming between you and your partner.
Many financial differences between couples are due to avoiding the topic of money altogether. In fact, most married people say they never discussed basic financial topics like savings, debt, or how to divide bills before they got married.
When it comes to money and marriage, here’s a closer look at the most common missteps that divide couples.
Hiding debt or other financial information from your spouse, also known as committing financial infidelity, is often a recipe for a failed marriage.
In a 2025 Debt.com survey, 37% of respondents said hiding debt is equivalent to breaking votes. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that the same number of divorcees say they or their ex-spouse hid debts during the marriage.
Credit card debt can be particularly difficult to manage, since credit card rates are so high. In recent years, the average rate has increased to almost 21%.
Therefore, it is not surprising that this particular type of debt has become an increasingly common cause of divorce. In the Debt.com survey, 42% of divorcees said credit card debt played a role in their separation, up from 34% in 2024 and 29% in 2023.
Of course, debt does not have to lead to divorce, but it can be an insurmountable obstacle when the couple does not seek a solution. The majority of couples who separated (65%) said they did not seek any help for their debt problems.
In a Western & Southern Financial Group survey, married couples were asked what financial topics they wish they had started discussing sooner. Their top choice was spending habits (32%).
In my work, I have seen couples develop deep resentments toward each other over differences in spending. Things get especially contentious when one is a saver and the other spends money freely. According to divorcees, the biggest cause of financial stress during their marriage was disagreements over their largest purchases, including things like furniture and cars.
In my budgeting sessions with couples, a particular scenario plays out repeatedly: one spouse manages the household’s bills and financial accounts, and the other is unaware of the details.
This dynamic may seem natural for couples where one partner knows more about money management than the other. But this often leads to serious problems. For example, one spouse tends to resent the amount of responsibility he or she carries, while the other feels like he or she is not trusted to make his or her own financial decisions.
Believe it or not, financial setbacks can actually bring couples together when handled the right way. Here are some tips for dealing with money problems together, instead of letting them become the ruin of your marriage.
It’s best not to talk about money (or any other serious topic) when one or both of you is feeling upset or angry. If emotions are running high, neither of you will focus on finding a solution. So instead of bowing down, agree to come back to the topic at a specific time later.
When talking about the topic, consider setting a timer at the beginning to help keep the conversation focused and short. During the conversation, I recommend talking curiously about each other’s values and financial goals, rather than jumping right into complaints or arguments about specific numbers.
Read more: What is values-based budgeting and how does it work?
Not sure when to talk about money issues? You can solve that problem by setting a recurring “money date” on your calendar. A money date should be a monthly (or weekly, if you’re facing a complex problem) event where you sit down together to go over basic money management topics. This may include:
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Creating and reviewing your budget
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Preparing for upcoming expenses
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Set and follow financial goals
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Planning non-necessary activities such as entertainment and travel.
Your money date may simply be a meeting around the kitchen table. Alternatively, you could plan a special home-cooked meal or an outing, just to make it more exciting for both of you.
There is no single right way to divide money management tasks and household bills. But there’s definitely a wrong way to approach it: avoiding the topic altogether.
If you’re not sure how to divide cost sharing, I generally recommend doing it in a way that correlates with income. For example, if one spouse earns 70% of the household income, that spouse will cover 70% of the expenses. Of course, you can try this approach and then modify it if it doesn’t work for you.
When it comes to paying bills and managing financial accounts, I often recommend discussing which responsibilities you enjoy most and writing down the tasks each of you agree to perform. It’s also okay to give one person all the responsibility if that’s what you both want. However, each spouse needs to know how to locate all shared financial assets in the event of an emergency.
Read more: Should unmarried couples have joint bank accounts?
If financial stress or disagreements are harming your marriage, don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional.
For couples struggling with debt, bad credit, or budget issues, an NFCC-certified credit counselor can step in with expert advice and personalized suggestions. These advisors can also explain special options to improve your finances, including debt management plans (DMPs).
For help with retirement planning, investing, and tax strategies, consider hiring a licensed financial advisor, such as a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC).
Read more: How to merge finances with your spouse after getting married