This arises a lot for Leben, he likes it or not. And it is not only in his gym, where young people sometimes get excited to tell him how they simply transmitted the first season of “The Ultimate Fighter” and cannot believe what a wild man was his coach once. But it is also when it is presented to work as a referee or judge, two side concerts that, collectively, occupy most of their weekends.
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“There are two different reactions that I get from the fighters when I am working on these events,” says Leben. “One is: ‘Oh, man, it is an honor to have to reflect my fight, I saw you grow’, and all that. The others have no idea who most of the time I am, to tell you the truth. I am only an arbitrator for them, and that’s fine.”
Some days, it’s more than good. Being recognized and remembered is something complicated for Leben. It comes with some luggage. He knows that he could dye red hair again, just like the old days, and be recognizable instantly. It is a conscious choice to make the brown mouse grow on its great buffalo head. It allows you to sink into something a little closer to anonymity.
The face is still there, under all the scar tissue. Some of the old hardcores that were close to their peak, still recognize it. But his version that fans of the fight remember is not the same type as it is now. He is not the person who wants to be.
Leben attacked that first season of the UFC reality show as the hard and hard spark plug of the debut cast. Then he spent the next eight years of his life in the UFC, maintaining a place on the list as a medium favorite weight of fans who reliably delivered a certain type of show with the melody of the fifth fights in the history of the division (22). Leben was never the guy who was going to win them. But he was the guy who would plant his feet and throw leather without worrying much about his own well -being.
(Josh Hedges through Getty Images)
It was also the guy who would refuse and put his fist through a glass panel. It was the guy who, a few days before fighting Brian Stann at UFC 125, went crazy in a Las Vegas casino bath and had to bribe my wives just to fight. His motto in “TUF” was that he could shoot the gym “smelling of dirty alcohol and strippers and still knock out the boys. Sometimes he was called to try it.
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The fighting game always has a place for people like that. And when they seem to be living at the same reckless rhythm outside the cage, somehow it only tends to become more fascinated by their various manifestations of public self -destruction.
“I think what took me when I was young is despite,” says Leben. “Actually, I think that was the main thing. People thought it was nothing and that it was not going to be anything, so screwed up, you know? I’m going to show that they were wrong. So I built all this alternate ‘crypt’ for me for me, this type of person, and it worked. But the people who knew me just because of that, you know, I was a damaged person who made that damaged person. At some point I was trying to prove that I was not trying to prove.
Leben’s life after the UFC was tumultuous. In 2015, he declared himself guilty of charges for serious crimes weapons, as well as the charges that he had violated a restriction order when he broke into his ex -wife’s department. He retired from the fight, returned to some naked boxing games, then retired again.
Before opening this gym, the training center, a spacious and modern installation in a privileged location in Garnett Avenue in the Hip Pacific Beach area of ​​San Diego, did all kinds of work. Flood restoration. Construction. All types of manual work. And when some promoter offered only one more check for Wade In Blood in a naked event, he responded to the call. For time.
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“At that time, I really felt good,” says Leben. “I was sober. After the way I finished my UFC career, I wanted to show that I could get it together. And I felt very good there for a while. But I was pressing 40 and it was like, what are you doing? These children are becoming faster. You are getting slower. You returned, you had a few wars, and you had a few wars, and you didn’t end in the race.
What Leben realized, he says, is that eventually the fighters have to learn to be something else. And not just somestuffBut someone others. The old you must die so that the new can be reborn. Those who fail to make that transition, well, we see what happens to them. Leben saw him with friends and former opponents. Boys like Stephan Bonnar, who died at the age of 45 years of fentanyl accidental overdose. Also types like Phil Baroni, who was arrested in Mexico in 2023 for the murder of his girlfriend.
“Look at Wanderlei (Silva) in this boxing, being knocked out by a stranger. That made me very sad,” says Leben. “Many boys of that time. I remember Stephan Bonnar, came here to visit me, and he was ‘the American psychopath’ still. He appeared to fight as ‘the American psychopath’. He comments like ‘the American psychopath’.
“I understand it. It is difficult when people approach you and still expect that guy.
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These days, the Leben approach is in stability and structure. During the week, he is in his gym, teaching and training. On weekends he travels to events to work as a judge or referee. He has recently worked on UFC events, but before that it was a long trip only to work in a local show for little more than gas money, everything to get the experience he needed.
In his free time, he goes to the batting cages with his son. He removes himself on Monday mornings to stay home with his fiance. He focuses on staying right there in the middle of the emotional range, leaving the wild changes of the life of the fighter in the past.
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“I don’t want those minimums anymore,” says Leben. “I don’t want the maximum either. I want to remain right in the middle.”
For a young and emotionally unstable man, he points out, the lifestyle of the fighters has a certain attraction. It is a world of party or family. You could go from a one to a star in a year or two. A handful of good night could become a champion and a millionaire. But more than that, it only gives a short -term future to consider while allowing him to ignore the biggest image. Simply reserve a fight, you train for a fight, then you present and bleed.
“For someone who has many problems, a lot of luggage like me, a part of your two -month life feels manageable,” says Leben. “A five -year plan? That’s difficult to see for yourself. I still have problems seeing it sometimes. But now my approach is to be 1% happier every day. I want to gradually bring my well -being and my happiness a little every day.”
These days, the body does not always cooperate the way you would like. Leben turned 45 during the summer. He recently flew his knee. Your shoulder is likely to be replaced. There are some worrying albums on their neck that will also require some attention soon. The young fighter who enters to practice and throws his gymnastics bag with the fluid movements of a man whose joints still work silently.
That was a damaged person who did those things. That damaged person was trying to prove that he was hard and that it was worthy. And then, once I tried that, I was trying to prove that I was not crazy.
“A couple of years ago I could still leave and throw it,” says Leben. “Now, man, I was trying to show a double leg (demolition) today and I can barely go to the knee. At the same time, I would not change it. I have friends who are old and beaten and not even fought. Two years from now on I will have two more years.
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Sometimes people ask him, wouldn’t it be incredible if he had become sober before? Imagine what your UFC career could have been if you weren’t your worst enemy for a long time. Imagine what you could have achieved if you had discovered some of your own problems before.
But Leben is not so sure. On the one hand, if he had not grown like a child angry on the poor side of the city, he could never have found his way in MMA at all.
“I think, as, would I have done some of those things if I hadn’t felt that I needed to try something? And I don’t know,” he says. “Those extremes, moved to all areas of my life. Everything in excess. Nothing in moderation. I think that’s why I fought like me.”
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He made him a popular fighter in the UFC, one that could always depend on a fun and wild fight. He became his brand and personality, until he was forced to find some way to undo and learn a new way.
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He is happy that way now. It has a good life, a good gym. There is a feeling of satisfaction when leaving the various tombs that he threw for himself. But if I hadn’t done all that, he wonders, could he have found his way here?
“I don’t know,” says Leben. “I can look back in all these mistakes I made and think about what I had been. But I also look around and I go here now. This gym is a home for many people. I have a family here. I have many things for me.”
It could have been a damaged person who did those things in the UFC, but it was a better version of the same man who built the life he has now. If one needed to have the other, well, maybe the difficult trip to get here was worth it.
(Tagstotranslate) Chris Leben