Whether you’ve recently visited your primary care doctor or visited the emergency room, chances are you’ve had an interaction with a nurse. Maybe they were responsible for taking your vital signs or drawing your blood (and that’s just the basics).
Because they do so much during appointments, unfortunately this means they can be a target when patients are not feeling well and want to see the doctor. This can lead to patients making rude comments, whether intentionally or not.
“Patient miseducation often stems from frustration, stress and lack of knowledge,” said Katie Jett, a family nurse practitioner and dean of the school of nursing at Ponce University of Health Sciences in St. Louis. “A greater effort to inform the country about the role of nurses would help educate the public and build a relationship of trust.”
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Ahead, we talk to nurses about some of the rudest things people have said to them during appointments. (Also, you might consider trying some alternatives that are more respectful and polite.)
“You’re just a nurse.”
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There is no such thing as “just” a nurse, although it is common for patients to say that.
“This statement discards years of education, clinical experience and patient advocacy,” said Jason Dunne, Ph.D., chief academic officer of the Arizona College of Nursing. “Nurses are licensed professionals who assess, treat and advocate for their patients every day and are important members of patient care teams.”
“You do this for the money.”
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Everyone works for money. However, that doesn’t mean that people in higher-paying jobs (especially those in the medical field) aren’t passionate or don’t really care about the profession or the patients.
“People often say this out of resentment, probably projecting their own exhaustion onto someone who shows up with a purpose,” said Kiara DeWitt, a certified pediatric nurse practitioner and CEO of InjectCo. “That kind of comment erases years of education, unpaid clinics, exposure to trauma and physical exhaustion. I ignore it, especially since anyone who has ever done a 14-hour shift in compression stockings would laugh at the idea that nursing is a career to get rich.”
“Why didn’t you become a doctor?”
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Implying that people who are nurses aren’t as smart as doctors is a common trope that medical professionals are tired of hearing.
“Miseducation is thinking that RNs are not a vital part of healthcare and that we are dependent on the physician rather than being highly trained and educated critical healthcare providers,” said Karen O’Donnell Fountain, Fastaff ER nurse and director of clinical services. “Some people are under the false impression that doctors can do anything better than a nurse when, in reality, RNs have a solemn responsibility for patient care.”
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“When will the real doctor come?”
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The doctor will eventually come to see you if you have an appointment booked with him, so saying this to a nurse is rude and condescending.
“This question is a complete disrespect for the autonomy and power we nurses have in our practice,” DeWitt said. “It also downplays the care a nurse provides as the second best option when, in fact, many interventions are within the scope of nursing skills.”
A better way to ask this question is to ask, “Will you explain to me how you fit into my care?”
“I don’t want a nurse.”
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“I think this is still being said out loud and shows a discomfort rooted in outdated gender norms,” DeWitt said. “This suggests that nurses are somehow less caring or less appropriate for bedside care, which is absurd. I always remind people that nurses are trained professionals regardless of gender and that they all deserve the same trust.”
A more respectful way to express preference would be something like, “I would feel more comfortable with a nurse I can talk to openly.”
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“You only work three days a week? That must be good.”
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Yes, it is true that most nurses work three days a week; however, the shifts are longer than the usual 9 to 5.
“Those ‘three days’ are often 12- to 14-hour shifts on your feet and this statement overlooks the long days and physically demanding nature of these shifts,” Dunne said. “In addition, nurses are also often faced with shifts on weekends, evenings and holidays, which, for many, is undesirable.”
Many people simply don’t understand the reality of a nurse’s schedule or know the physical and emotional demands of those long shifts.
“I could never do your job.”
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Many people really can’t imagine handling the challenges of nursing: long hours, seeing patients in pain, demanding family members, etc.
According to Dunne, while this may be understood as admiration, it may seem like the work is impossible or undesirable. He adds: “Nurses are leaders and caregivers who not only deal with bodily fluids, but they also need to have top-notch decision-making skills and a lot of clinical experience.”This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
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