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A man said he refused to pay his girlfriend’s $70,000 annual tuition at New York University after she expected him to fully fund it, explaining that he had already offered $20,000 toward her studies. The original poster shared his story on the r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC subreddit, saying he is torn between supporting his girlfriend’s ambitions and protecting her financial future.
The offer meets expectations
The OP, 25, who works in tech, said he’s been dating his 22-year-old girlfriend for two years. When they talked about graduate school, he told her, “I can help with $20,000,” believing that amount was generous enough to cover a large portion at most state universities.
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But after his girlfriend was accepted into New York University’s master’s program (her “dream school”), she assumed he would pay the full $70,000 tuition, plus living costs in New York. When he reminded her of her previous boundary, she became upset and accused him of being unsupportive.
Clash over finances and the future
According to the publication, he argued that NYU would give him access to better opportunities, calling it an “investment in his future.”
The OP said paying the full cost would empty their savings and derail their investments. He explained that while he had spent more than $20,000 on his car last year, that didn’t mean he could afford to finance someone else’s title.
He suggested cheaper schools, community college prerequisites, or student loans they could then pay off together, but she dismissed the ideas, insisting that “if he really supported her dreams, he would find a way.”
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Reddit sounds bad about love and money
Thousands of people weighed in on the post, calling the situation a reality check on financial limits. “You better not pay for that! That’s your girlfriend, not your wife,” one user wrote.
Another Redditor added: “Even if they were married, she would have to justify that the NYU degree would generate enough future income to offset the $100,000 invested in tuition.”
“You seem to have a lot of right to be upset over a $20,000 gift. Even if it was a sure thing for your future income, it’s not guaranteed you’ll be together,” another poster wrote.
One commenter summed up the discussion bluntly, saying, “If NYU is going to produce better results, then getting a loan shouldn’t be a problem. If she doesn’t agree, maybe NYU isn’t the problem; maybe her ego is.”
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This article Boyfriend Refuses to Pay $70,000 Tuition at NYU, Says, “I Can Help with $20,000.” She says she doesn’t support his dreams originally appeared on Benzinga.com.