The 28-year-old survivor lost his partner and mother after the October 7 massacre; His death highlights the lasting trauma many Nova survivors face.
Nova music festival survivor Roei Shalev took his own life on Friday after sharing a social media post saying goodbye.
Shalev attended the Nova Music festival on October 7, 2023, when terrorists infiltrated Gaza border communities and killed thousands of people. He was shot in the back and survived. His partner, Mapal Adam, was killed by the terrorists, as was his close friend, Hili Solomon.
A week after the massacre, Raffaela, Shalev’s mother, also took her own life.
He was found in a burning car on a highway exit near Netanya, and Israel Police said an investigation had been opened into the circumstances of the incident, although Shalev posted a farewell message on his Instagram page. The message, in which he describes the pain and loss he has felt since the Oct. 7 massacre, echoes sentiments friends of the deceased have shared about Shalev not fully recovering from the loss of his partner, Adam.
‘I’m already dead’
“I’m so sorry. I can’t stand this pain anymore. It burns inside me and I can’t contain it anymore. Never in my life have I felt so much pain and suffering, so deep, burning, eating me from the inside,” said Shalev’s message, posted on his personal Instagram account.
“I really can’t go on. Dad, Lior and Ido, I love you more than anything in the world. I’m so sorry. My friends in Israel and all over the world, I love you. Keshet, I love you. Please don’t be angry with me. No one will ever understand me, because they can’t. I just want this suffering to end. I’m alive, but inside I’m already dead.”
“Please remember the good in me. Anyone who has ever known me knows that all I ever wanted was good. I’m sorry.”
The Nova Tribe Community Association, sharing the pain of Shalev’s death, said that “Unfortunately, many of the PTSD victims of October 7 are still experiencing terrible and complex moments from that day. We ask everyone to be constantly attentive and maximally sensitive to the mental state of the victims of October 7 in general, and the survivors and grieving families in particular.”
His post sparked immediate alerts, and the Nova Tribe and friends launched a search after he didn’t respond to calls. CCTV showed him at a petrol station filling a can with fuel. His vehicle was soon found burning with his body inside the vehicle, where he was immediately pronounced dead.
The Shalev family announces his death in a statement and asks to “refrain from any contact.” The statement further says that funeral details “will be provided separately.”
Nova Tribe called Shalev one of the pillars of their community and called his death an “incomprehensible loss.” “We ask to remember him in his most beautiful moments: his courageous support of the community, his leadership as captain of the Nova Tribe basketball team and his devotion to helping his friends in their most difficult times.”
After learning of Shalev’s death, YouTuber and basketball coach Barak Swarttz posted a reaction highlighting an interview he had conducted on a Los Angeles basketball court last year. Shalev shared his traumatic story of survival and the story of losing his loved ones during the Nova massacre, in which he played dead while terrorists walked around him. He described being shot twice and still surviving.
In his interview, he detailed how he and Mapal Adam had discussed their future together before their untimely deaths; weddings, the names of their children, and things like that. “They send me signals,” he told Swarttz.
“After the biggest nightmare of my life, today I am here. On a basketball court with a smile on my face,” he said, detailing that the pain still persists: the flashbacks continued and the tears flowed.
After confirmation of Shalev’s death, the YouTuber added a pinned comment that read, “Dear YouTube Community, Roei took his life 2 days ago on October 10. He couldn’t take the pain anymore. Please send your wishes to his family and loved ones. Gutted,” with emojis of angel wings, a candle, and a broken heart.
Other survivors have taken their own lives, including Nova survivor Shiriel Golan, who committed suicide a year after the attack, reportedly on her 22nd birthday. Although specific numbers remain unconfirmed, in April 2024, Israeli media reported that Nova survivor Guy Ben Shimon testified before the Knesset that there had been “almost 50 suicides among Nova survivors. Israel’s Health Ministry has denied the claim that 50 survivors committed suicide, saying they had no records or evidence to support the figure.
The Ministry of Health said the figure provided was incorrect and that the number of related suicides was less than 10 in April 2024. The updated figures, due to family privacy among other factors, are not available to the public.
The Israeli NGO ELEM: Youth in Distress, which works with at-risk youth and young adults in Israel, honored Shalev with its “LifeSaver Award” for his advocacy and continued fight to manage post-trauma after October 7.
“I am determined to help rebuild our community, to offer hope and support to those whose lives have been shattered by similar tragedies. So I humbly ask for your help,” he said while accepting his award at a ceremony last year. “Together we can make a difference. Whether through donations or raising awareness, every act of kindness matters. And in the midst of pain and sadness, I hold on to one truth: We will dance again. We will take back the joy that was stolen from us and we will build a better future for all.”